You know when you get that feeling where you just can't be bothered to do your hair or makeup? Loads of girls are slowly nodding their heads to this one, a few guys as well I'm sure.
Well this is a reoccurring issue with me, I'm a fully qualified makeup artist (beauty) and am studying to be a sfx makeup artist, yet I cannot for the life of me, be bothered everyday to slap all sorts of expensive (or cheap) products onto my skin. I'll only just be bothered to roll my sleepy arse out of bed, I've only literally rolled out of bed onto the floor a few times, throw some clothes on that are clean-ish and get myself out of the flat as quick as possible! Now when I say I throw clothes on, I mean I do get dressed properly, I don't mean I have a sock on my hand and my trousers are on backwards. Sometimes I forget to put matching socks on but that's another story (who can be bothered to match socks anyway?)
Once I'm outside all sorts of mayhem happens. Children stare at your zombie like state, their parents are judging you and hoping you don't go near their offspring. They shouldn't be worried because I hate children and I would rather eat light bulbs than be within 2 cm of a sprog. But they don't know that, to them you are the weird lady slouching down the street wearing 9 layers of clothing in order to keep warm (change this to fit the season, eg: summer time, 1 layer of clothing etc...) you think I'm exaggerating but 9 layers is sufficient for someone who, I'm pretty certain of, has no blood. I'm always cold and I will always be cold no matter the weather. The 9 layers would consist of, a pair of tights and jeans, a small crop top underneath a longer top, underneath a long sleeved top, underneath another long sleeved top, which would be underneath a jumper and then on top of that I would usually have a hoodie and probably 2 scarfs and a big coat. I am not joking... Ok maybe I am a little bit, but when I see people going into the cold dark world in just a bomber jacket and little shoes I think to myself "HOW? How are you not dead? How have you survived these treacherous winds in such little clothing???" Fair do's to the people who can do that, well done!! It's just not for me.
When I make an effort I look older than I am, which is probably the same for most people. Without I look like a small child. A small boy child actually! I once got ID'd to get into Jurassic World because I was in tracky bottoms (sweat pants) and a hoodie with no makeup. The film was a 12. I kid you not. At what point does this become less offensive? At what point do I take it as a compliment that I actually look like a child? When I'm 80 and I look like a 40 year old? If I look 40 when I'm 80 I'll be very impressed and I'll probably be on the news or on those pop ups on websites that say "Plastic Surgeons Hate Her!!" That would be fun. I have three looks, I either look like a homeless person, a slut or a boy. There is no in between. I either have my stripper shoes on with a mini skirt and a crop top or skinny jeans, dr martens and a shirt. Sometimes I even end up looking like a lesbian. Fun times.
Sometimes it's nice to make an effort and do your face/hair/body all pretty and girly, when I try, I TRY! I go for it. I have my foundation and contour on, my highlighter could blind passersby, I like to believe it could one day knock someone off their bike, my eyeliner is sharp enough to cut that one bitch who is always mean to you and slags you off behind your back, ugh what a cow.. Sorry, sorry, I'm slowly slipping into hatred, I'll climb out of that now. Anyway, back to the subject at hand, my lipstick is always fabulous and my eyebrows are, as the kids call it, on fleek. So yeah, when I try I go for it and I nail it. Yeah I have the advantage of being a makeup artist but so what? There are people in the world who aren't makeup artists yet they 'slay' on a daily basis.
Just because you go out looking like a zombie doesn't mean you can't feel like a Goddess, Yeah I said it! I used the title of this post in the actual writing!! HA, go me.
I enjoy walking around and scaring the daylight out of someone with my under eye bags that could quite easily carry your shopping home for you (and do it in one trip). It's also fun to have a full face of makeup on and then accidentally fall asleep on a white surface. If you have done this, you'll understand why it's fun. Now, say you face plant this white surface and you don't move for the whole 6-8 hours of sleep you get, as you wake up from this luxurious nap you've had, you lift your face up to discover the contents of said face is now on your white surface. Now I don't mean just small splodge of eyeliner or something, OH NO, I mean like this:
Now, you know what I mean. It's bad. Moral of the story, always take your makeup off before you go to sleep.
Thanks for reading,
Love Nadia xxx
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