Jinx

Hello,

Some of you may have noticed that I deleted my last post, I won't go in to detail but some stuff happened and I felt like I needed to erase everything to do with said issue from my life. Sorry for messing you all about, but I'm back now ready to write again.

I'm not going to lie to you, things have been shit. And I don't mean "ugh, today was a bad day" sort of shit, I mean the "I can't sleep or eat" kind of shit. I spent a few weeks suffering from insomnia and eating only toast. That's what my body does when shit goes down... You know how some people eat their feelings (take Bridget Jones for example, she eats ice cream and cries to herself) I can't do that. I starve myself of everything that I love, why I hear you ask, I don't know why. I guess it's my bodies way of dealing with rejection. This is turning out to be half rant half depression. I'm sorry... 

I know that everything was going so well in my last post, I knew it was too good to be true and I'm pretty sure I jinxed my life. But it's ok, I'm used to these set backs. Things will pick up again, the only problem is I'm always scared when things go too well, they usually come crashing down after a few months, leaving me battered and hurt wondering what the hell happened to the happy times. Sometimes it can go from "OMG I'm so happy, this is amazing, I've never been so happy in my life!!!!! I hope this never ends!!" to, "Oh, well I guess something had to go wrong eventually, see you around". Now I know I'm being vague and I apologies for that, but like I said, I don't really want to go in to detail as it was very much a private matter.

Anyway, on to happier things. 

My mum came to the UK. That was nice. I guess she came at the best possible time... Sorry, I'm descending in to darkness again. Beam me up Scotty! We hung out for 4 days which was amazing. It was so nice to just have her around to give me hugs and cook me nice food again after having not seen her for such a long time. We went wedding dress shopping with my sister, I was really jealous of all the nice dresses she tried on. Kind of wished that was me... We went out for a fancy lunch and drank fake champagne, it was really nice. 

And I can't wait to go home for Christmas!!!! I'm so excited to just be around my parents and animals again after such a shitty time.

Uni is going alright, had my first breakdown and it's only been three months, new world record for me!! Had my first assessment on facial postiche. I turned my friend Sam (Male) in to a fabulous drag queen.. He wore a bright pink ball gown and long false nails. I hand knotted his moustache which took me three weeks to make, bloody joke!! Glued it to his face and did some gorgeous over the top makeup. He got proper in to it when I started taking the photos.. I'll post them later on once I've edited them.. Got lots to do before I can show them to the public.

Excited for next Saturday as we're going to a prosthetic event in Birmingham. Loads of famous makeup artists will be there. I'm going to be throwing my money at them and buying loads of crap I don't need but really really want! It's going to be so much fun!!!

Got some gigs coming up as well which will be awesome!!! Going to see The Fratellis at the end of November and then Four Years Strong in February!!

We've planned a trip to Amsterdam in February too which will be SIIIIICK!!! Always wanted to go and now I am with some of my closest friends. The end of this year is making up for how shit the rest of it has been. I hope to God 2017 is gonna be 300000000x better or I swear I'm gonna give up. Not even joking!

Hopefully Caitlin, Beth and Me will live together again next year in the same flat with the same rooms, I've grown to like them haha. They're ok really and we get along really well.

Aiden is coping well living with us, bless him. He doesn't half get bullied in to doing things for us. But we're a cute little family. Aiden's even going to buy a Christmas tree for the flat and Beth's mum is bringing the decorations. It's going to be so festive.

Went to the Christmas market last night with Ben and Annie. It really got me in the Christmas mood even though it's still only the beginning of November. We had mulled wine in cute little mugs and then we got mini pancakes and I had mine covered in Nutella.... It was so good. I did feel quite sick after though and when we got back to Annie's flat she decided to make cupcakes which were so good, but that didn't help my stomach which was hurting from the pancakes. We watched the incredibles as well which was so much fun. made us all feel like kids again.

One last thing: THE WALKING DEAD HAS BEEN SPOILED FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, night. 

Nadia xxx